How to deal.

I had no time to be cool [previous post]. The decision and realization came over one day and delivered just as quickly, mercifully for both parties involved, in the space of three songs.

It was a thing I refused to put a label on. It also almost doesn't exist - there is virtually no evidence of the whole thing taking place [except maybe for the possibility of a video in an elevator]. But it was something, even without a label and the mementos. The question is, if you were not really together, is it still called a break-up?

I guarded myself very well against the pain of the invetable end but there still the aftermath. I'm only human after all. So here I am, trying to deal.

I allowed myself a full day to do what girls do when they need to deal : laze around in bed, watch TV, shop, eat a donut and spend some quality time in the salon. From here on, I just need to keep myself distracted. Work out, go out.

It sounds clinical and unsentimental but sentiment is the one thing I can't afford myself. It's not true that you can't chose how to feel - you can. What am I going to do? Mope around for a couple of weeks, eat some nasty carbs and look unhappy? I'm so not going to go there.